Weapons of Choice for the Zombie Apocalypse (inevitable mind you)

Posted: November 2, 2011 in The Zombie Apocalypse
Tags: , , , , , ,

Hello peeps!

In today’s blog we will explore the age old question of what are the best weapons for surviving the zombie apocalypse, from this time forward to be known as the ZAPOC or something else like that which happens to be shorter to type rather than zombie apocalypse over, and over. You younger whipper-snappers are pretty good at shortening words with all that texting jive these days… so have at it!

Anyway, what this discussion basically boils down to is melee versus guns. Or as we like to think about it – finesse versus flare. The objective of this blog will be to take a common sense approach to which is better. Later (in followup blogs) we will explore top 5 or 10 options to each side of the arguement, but for now, let’s think about which is the best option and why. We are quite positive that this topic will be rehashed and revisited, but for now, let’s just establish some ground work.

Ok, from what we know about zombies they will most likely be mean, hard to kill unless their central nervous system is rendered inoperable, insatiably hungry, and attracted to loud noises. Why loud noises you ask? Because that’s how predators hunt. Sound, in almost every instance, is a far superior hunting tool than any other sense (closely followed by smell). Just look at the top predators like lions, tigers and bears, oh my. Upright, conical ears that are facing forward or on a constant swivel to detect even the faintest of movements. Then you have the ultimate night predator in bats which rely almost completely on their sonic hearing. It’s easy to see how sound will play a huge role in the ZAPOC. (<— see what we did there?) We’re going one step further and shortening to ZAP. So take that.

Now that we have established a sound, common sense approach to “how” zombies will hunt. Let’s examine our options.

In the event of a ZAP, we are going to go out on a limb and say society as we know it will have ceased to exist. This means that while guns are cool and all, when you run out of bullets – you’re screwed. There won’t be Uncle Bob’s Bang-Bang Shack on the corner of 5th and Main where you can peruse and max out your credit card. Bullets will be found only on dead people who failed to read this blog (or others like it) and in homes and stores that haven’t already been raided by other desperate SOBs like yourself.

Here’s a free tip for you. If you happen across a gun with ammunition – hold onto it for a rainy day. In our professional opinion (hey, we don’t judge what you do for a living), you’re better off using the gun in defense against non-zombie combatants who might just want your hideout, guns, food, or women/men (yes, we are slighly politically correct). Not every human is going to be singing kumbaya and holding hands with their fellow humans. There will still be jackasses, even during the ZAP. Trust us on this one.

So… after review of the logical train of thought above (our own), we have come to the conclusion that melee weapons will be the far superior choice for defense during the ZAP. There are a few reasons for this that we would like to point out in list format, for all of your who are without a doubt taking notes:

  • Melee weapons are silent. This is good because other zombies will not hear you killing their friends.
  • Melee weapons are easily maintained and do not require renewable resources. IE: You don’t need bullets for your sword.
  • Melee weapons are just badass. Did Conan the Barbarian use guns to crush his enemies and hear the lamentation of the women? We don’t think so.

    RUN! Why are you just taking pictures??

There you have it. Melee is definitely the way to go.

Stay tuned for lists of both melee and gun related weapons we think you should look into!


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